Monthly Archives: June 2010


Storm Warriors

I thought I would of raised my martian snausage nose up to such a film as Storm Warriors with all it’s magic,mystic, & wire-fu acts of self inflicting honor, but to be honest I actually enjoyed the freak show! The film was like a done up whore complete with fake boobs, long legs,pretty face, & a sweet rump injected with CGI & filled with Hong Kong pretty boy pop stars like Ekin Cheng,Aaron Kwok, & Nicholas Tse. I mean this in the most complimentary of ways, folks! The evil empire strikes back with Simon Yam gracing us with his role of a Darth Vader like Japanese Warlord named Lord Godless. When I hear or see Ekin Cheng & Nicholas Tse, I instantly think about the gangster roles they played from the “Young And the Dangerous” series. It’s hard to picture them in period piece roles but, Ekin Cheng & Aaron Kwok both did a good job in portraying the characters of Wind & Cloud. Storm Warriors or aka Storm Riders 2 is based on a Hong Kong comic book. This is part of the reason that I lifted my wire-fu ban on this movie because it’s a comic book character, ladies & neanderthals! Superhero characters=superhuman feats so I’m OK with the walking on water, moving mountains on your shoulder, & shooting erronious energy from your fingertips! The CGI work on Storm Warriors was amazing! Think Frank Miller’s “300”! I worried that these Hong Kong pop stars would fail on recreating fight scenes with much passion & accuracy, but they did a decent job! Simon Yam being a drama man himself represented Lord Godless in convincing fashion filled with ruthlessness & evil. Storm Warriors opens up with Cloud(Aaron Kwok),Chu Chu,Piggy King,2nd Dream, & their master “Nameless” already in the paws of Lord Godless awaiting execution. The Lord (Simon Yam) & his son (Nicholas Tse) want to take control of the galaxy & rule the martial art world!(muhahaha). But to everybodies surprise, Wind(Ekin Cheng) appears & saves the bunch from the clutches of Lord Godless, but not before Master Nameless gets seriously injured. The three go on a refuge & must power up before they meet Godless again. Master Nameless is injured & cannot pass on enough power or knowledge to Wind or Cloud so Lord Wicked was recommend as the only savior. Ekin Cheng(Wind) was then chosen to train in the powers of the evil in order to gain enough strength to defeat Lord Godless, but in turn Wind might get possessed by the darkside & would probably not make it back to the Jedi side. Cloud would continue training with Master Nameless & eventually reach another level that would embellish new knowledge in creating his own sword technique. Cloud & Wind meet up to ignite a Storm from Lord Godless, & the Dragon bones is the prize that will win immortality!(muhahaha). Storm Warriors is definitely one big eye candy that I should watch over again to pickup little nuances I might have missed! 2nd on my list is to checkout the “Storm Riders” comic book to get a better understanding of these 2 characters! And lastly, I should watch Storm Riders the first movie with Ekin Cheng,Aaron Kwok, & Sonny Chiba that was released about a decade ago!

–Mr. C (7 out of 10 chances for a Storm when Wind & Cloud collide)



kung fu chefs

The Kung Fu Chef’s screening at the New York Asian film festival in Walter Reade Theatre on June 26th turned out to be quite a pleasant surprise! This film was quite wacky,quacky,quirky, & a complete train wreck filled with action! I loved it! I left the theatre quenching for more…cabbage in clear broth…um..I mean kung fu action! Don’t get me wrong, this movie was no academy award winner, but the over the top story of a comic book style story based on a kung fu fighting master chef that yields a dragon heads butcher knife was quite hilarious. The dialogue and so called english subtitle translation would win no awards for best script, but this is Hong Kong comedy at it’s best.

Let’s get to the nitty gritty of the movie. The cast would contain a core of grisly veterans of kung fu proportions like Sammo Hung, Bruce Leung, & Louis Fan Siu Wong. Taiwanese pop star Vaness Wu who played the young arrogant chef, & the two ladies worthy of eye candy added silly slapstick to the equation. The fight sequences teetered me over to the Jedi side as opposed to the dark side of sheer silliness. Sammo vs Bruce Leung, Sammo vs Louis Fan Siu Wong, Sammo vs Chef Ken, Sammo vs the sashimi, Sammo vs pig…had won me over to no end! Oh, did I also tell you Sammo’s son, Timmy Hung is in the movie? Timmy gets a severe beat down from papa Hung in full chinese banquet glory! The film is about Master Chef, Wong Ping Yee played by Sammo who saves a chinese banquet because one of his sous chefs burns a hunk of pork meat. Sammo proceeds to butcher a whole swine with one big swoop of the magical Dragon Head’s butcher cleaver!(Great scene by the way). The pork is then tenderly cooked & the banquet, subsequently has been saved! Little did the master chef know but his Chef nephew played by Louis Fan Siu Wong had poisoned the pork meat in order to frame his Uncle. The nephew still harbors disgust for his uncle because of an injury that was sustained to his dad’s arm from a cooking competition with the Uncle which promptly forced his dad to give up the Executive Chef title in his village. Sammo Hung is then ousted from the village as head chef due to being framed by his nephew. Chef Wong Ping Yee’s new life begins when he enters the two young ladies restaurant for lunch. Chef Wong is not impressed after trying a simple Sichuan dish called cabbage in clear broth. He also meets the arrogant Chef Ken while dining who he will mentor in the times to come. The first chef battle begins with Master Wong pitted against the Executive Chef of the young ladies restaurant. Wong masterfully sweeps the other chef to the side prompting the chef to lose face & jump ship. The chef games begin when Master Wong Ping Yee takes the reigns of this new restaurant along with his new prodigy, Chef Ken! Ken-San & Sammo soon have a blade off, comparing fresh sashimi cuts. However,Ken is no match for Sammo’s, cold blade ginsu cuts of fresh fish! School is now officially in session when the “Plump one” trains the young Jedi! Soon thereafter, fist a cuffs are in order with Sammo vs Louis Fan Siu Wong & the choreography was sheer amazing with a Birdseye camera shot of sweeps,roundhouse,front heel kicks, & Sammo’s classic reverse sidekick till no end! The rest of the fight scenes involving Sammo vs Bruce Leung, Fan Siu Wong vs Chef Ken are additional butter added to the ‘au ju’ gravy! The fight scenes in this movie were raw & dynamic! Exactly what the Kung Fu Doctor called for! There is a cooking finale that will involve one dish from the jungles of Sichuan province,China, yes you guessed it…Cabbage in clear broth! And yes, the Dragon Head’s butcher knife will reveal itself again!

Listen folks, I’m not saying this is a great movie & probably to the contrary, but it surely was entertaining at that especially seeing it on the big screen with surround sound! I’m also not saying that you should shell out big bucks to watch this at Sony Imax but, if you want to be entertained with food & some heavy duty fight scenes between 2 great onscreen fighters like Sammo Hung & Louis Fan Siu Wong, you can’t do any better! It is definitely worthy of a or purchase especially if you are a Sammo Hung Gum Bo & Louis Fan Siu Wong fan!

–Mr. C (5 out of 10 cabbage in clear broths,sichuan style!)


ip man 2

The anticipation of the screening of Ip Man 2 on opening night of the New York Asian Film Festival on June 25th created palpitations that only job interviews & colonoscopies can rival, but in a good way! Ip Man, the 1st movie told us about a story of the man himself who lived an aristocratic lifestyle & loved his art of Wing Chun in Foshan, China. The occupancy of the japanese created a rougher grit of sandpaper being added to the daily life of the chinese so many families escaped into the arms of Hong Kong under British rule. Enter, Ip Man 2. Ip Man 2 shows us the humble Ip Man, his pregnant wife, & his son struggling to pay the rent. Finding Wing Chun students to teach on the rooftops of Hong Kong proves to be difficult when other martial art schools take this as competition for business. This all comes to a head when Donnie Yen who plays the Wing Chun master, Yip Man is challenged by the “Kung Fu federation” to see if he is worthy to teach his art. After Yip Man’s fierce martial battle with the organization , the chinese martial art schools have other issues to deal with like the big bad British authorities & their big bad western boxer named “Twister”. I’ll spare you the details of the movie, but I’m sure you aliens can predict the outcome! What I can tell you is that at the end of the movie surfaces a young brat who wishes to learn wing chun from Yip Man with his hair slicked back, flicking his nose with his thumb, wearing jeans, & professes his desire to learn how to fight! His name is Lee, the “little dragon”, otherwise known as Bruce Lee to all the “Gwei Lo’s” & martians like myself. Can you say IP MAN 3? Gwei Lo roughly translates to “Foreign devil” or “western ghost”. Many chinese use the gwei lo term to identify westerners. I wonder what the chinese character for Martians or Aliens is?

Seriously speaking, Ip man 2 was chock full of refreshing energy on a real life character that many martial artists in the asian & western world can directly point their kung fu lineage to. Yip Man was a humble person practicing his art of peacefulness & destruction while not appearing to walk on water like other characters being portrayed on the screen like Wong Fei Hong. Wilson Yip did a great job directing the film in my opinion. The consultation with the real life son of Ip Man, Ip Chun on the movie in respects to the martial art & history is priceless. The additions of some well known Shaw Brother actors from the 1970’s like Lo Meng & the character that played the “Ba Gua” master in the film were fantastic. I wished these 2 great shaw brother actors of yesteryear would of gotten better choreography in the film instead of the quirky styles & characters that they portrayed, but I might be getting too technical here. Overall, the film housed some real badass old school kung fu choreography, but there were some flashes of wire “FU” work that I wasn’t too keen on. Why do you need wire fu when you’ve got the horses in your film that can display real kung fu? This crap still boggles my mind, but I guess the concensus of the chinese market is that they like the walk on water & fantasy crapola. In my mindless thinking, Wing Chun is the most direct & non-flashy of all the Chinese martial arts. We definitely don’t need any artificial enhancements to this fighting system. Come to think of it, none of the martial arts needs any performing enhancing attributes. A skilled martial artist provides his own stroke to create a painting with no help from technology. With Sammo Hung, Donnie Yen, & a world of real practictioners on your movie set, you would think there would be no need for any instances of “The Matrix”. Let me not digress to this Wire Fu stress because I’m about to blow an artery. Back to the man himself, let’s not forget that IP Man was a very important figure in the chinese martial arts world. Yip Man was a simpleton at heart with a complex mind. Yip Man went on to train relevant kung fu practictioners that would propagate the art of Chinese Kung Fu to all parts of the galaxy. With the likes of Bruce Lee, Leung Ting,William Cheung, Ip Chun(son), & Moy Yat(NYC) to name just a few accomplished students of the MAN! Many martians forget that Chinese Kung Fu is not just about the technical aspects of punching, kicking, & whoopass. Don’t get me wrong, Chinese Martial Arts was created to defend thyself from offensive neighbors, galaxies, & circumstances. However, the deep roots of Chinese Kung Fu also circles back to the cultural aspects of the art that many martians will never understand & grasp for those just wanting to learn how to kick & punch.

Fellow monchichis, do yourselves a favor & watch this film at your nearest Independent movie theatre! At the very least, catch it on netflix or buy it on DVD when it becomes available! I guarantee that there will be an increase in signups at your nearest Wing Chun school after a viewing of this movie! Wha..bisch…Wha..bisch..awe..awe..Suecky..Suecky!

–Mr. C (Ip Man 2 is 7 out of 10 stinky tofus!)
(pics,article,& video courtesy of Mr. C

sammo simon


sammo solo
simon yam
huang bo being presented with award by fellow actor in movie, the Cow!

This Planet Chocko martian had a privilege to attend the smattering of asteroids & awards being handed out to honor Hong Kong cinema legends Sammo Hung Kum Bo, Simon Yam, & to recognize a new/upcoming actor Huang Bo at the Star Asia Awards Ceremony on June 25th in conjuction with the New York Asian Film Festival hosted by Subway Cinema! Sammo, known as “Dai Goi Dai” to his close friends which translates to Big Brother big shows that his circle of friends & peers give him the utmost of respect when greeting him with this title. Dai Goi Dai is usually reserved for a person with high authority like a crime boss or someone with a tremendous amount of influence in his circle of business. Deservingly so because Sammo was the eldest training brother of the “7 little fortunes” including Jackie Chan,Yuen Biao, & Yuen Wah under the tutelage of Jimmy Yuen’s Peking Opera Academy in Hong Kong. Sammo Hung was the leader of the seven little fortunes and soon thereafter, began to blaze a trail in the Hong Kong film industry that his classmates would eventually take a walk on. Shaw Brother directors such as Chang Cheh & King Hu began to notice Sammo’s skill in fight choregraphy & so…the first domino started to fall as the “Fatty Dragon” began making a name for himself. Even Bruce Lee took a notice to the ‘plump one’ & Jackie Chan as well when casting them in fight scenes. From Wuxia genres like “Come Drink with Me” & the “Fate of Lee Khan” to Kung Fu slapstick like “Meals on Wheels” to “Enter the Fat Dragon”, to Wing Chun inspired movies like “Prodigal Son”,”Warriors Two”, & “Ip Man”, Sammo has had his hands in the cookie jar in all aspects of the phrase! The ‘fatty dragon’ reigns supreme, the cookie monster said so! It’s really an honor to be able to hear & see one of Hong Kong’s legends in person!

Simon Yam has easily been one of my favorite actors in the cop & gangster themed Hong Kong movies since the early 80’s. Even the casual HK cinema film fan would recognize Simon based on the sheer number of movies he has acted in. From John Woo’s, “Bullet in head” to “Full Contact” to the famous “Young & the Dangerous” series, I can always picture Simon in a Hong Kong Police uniform and people calling him “a sir”. If Tony Leung or Chow Yun Fat is in the movie, I expect to see Simon as well! I went to a screening of “Echoes of the Rainbow” last night at the New York Asian Film festival in the Walter Reade Theater at Lincoln Center & I can see why Simon was finally nominated as being actor of the year with this film. Simon Yam made a brief appearance before the screening of Echoes of the Rainbow & he mentioned that this movie was very close to his heart. Echoes of the Rainbow tells a story about a family living in 1960’s Hong Kong. The movie was narrated by the youngest son in the movie & it was touching indeed. This film hit home with me because the town they were portraying was also the town were my family lived in the 1960’s. The area was called “Tsam Tsui Bo”. It’s to no surprise that Simon was recognized by the Hong Kong film industry & the New York Asian Film Festival for his excellency & persistence in keeping us martians entertained in our spaceships! The question is, why did it take so long?

A rising star award was also handed out to China’s actor, Huang Bo. He’s a newcomer & I’m looking forward to watching some of his movies on display at the festival!

Oh, my Lord Godless(taken from “Storm Warriors”), I forgot to mention that Angela Mao Ying came out to present Sammo Hung with his lifetime achievement award! What a great surprise! She disappeared from the film industry about 30 years ago when she decided her family was more important than the non lucrative sport of acting & traveling to make films. Rumors had it that Angela owned a Chinese restaurant somewhere in Flushing,Queens. Angela Mao Ying was my favorite Hong Kong actress because she exuded mojo,the look, & her kick ass skills to the screen when women weren’t supposed to be strong like a tigress! Angela parallels another strong actress of a different spectrum of the rainbow named Pam Grier without the breastesses & hairdo! I must say Angela Mao looked dynomite even 30 years later! Pam Grier still looks hot as well! Maybe we should honor Angela, too! Hint Hint…Subway Cinema & New York Asian Film Festival! Fate of Lee Khan, When Tae Kwan Do strikes, Lady Kung fu, whatcha’ sayin’?!
–Mr. C (pics,article,& video courtesy of Mr. C
sammo & angela mao ying
Angela Mao



Punk Island 2010
Trauma Team 666
The Straphangers
Seizure Crypt
Seizure Crypt
Blackout Shoppers
Poison Control from San Francisco
Crowd Surfing @ Star Fucking Hipsters set
Kids & family enjoying ice cream among PUNK ISLAND 2010!

–Mr. C


Pit Master at Jim N Nicks

Smoked Sausage & jalapeno-pimento cheese spread at JimNnicks!

Smoked Sausage & jalapeno-pimento cheese spread at JimNnicks!

Smoked Sausage...up close & personal!

Smoked Sausage...up close & personal!

The 8th annual Big Apple BBQ block party in NYC was a swine of a success this past weekend! BBQ lovers of all breeds & nations conjured up at Madison Square Park’s perimeter to sample a tasting of some of the best slow smoked whole hog, brisket, sausages, & ribs from pitmasters all across the red,white,& blue! The vendors that I had a privilege to sample from included Ed Mitchell’s “The Pit” from Raleigh-North Carolina serving up a whole hog sandwich with slaw, Mike Mill’s “17th st. bar & grill” from Murphysboro-Illinois serving baby back ribs with beans, Patrick Martin’s “Martins BBQ Joint” from Nashville-Tennesse serving up a whole hog sandwich with sweet pickles, Drew Robinson’s “Jim n Nicks BBQ” from Birmingham-Alabama serving homemade smoked sausage with an jalapeno pimento cheese spread, Ken Bosley’s “Moonlite BBQ Inn” from Owensboro-Kentucky serving a BBQ mutton & burgoo sandwich with pickles, & Joe Duncan’s “Bakers Ribs” from Dallas Texas serving up St. Louis style ribs. There were oodles of other pitmasters & their respective restaurants from near to far but the ones I mentioned above are the ones that served up the BBQ that ended up in my tummy! Everything I tasted from these BBQ masters were truly “off the meat rack” to say the least! I have to say that my favorites were the whole hog sandwich from Martins BBQ Joint & the smoked sausage from Jim n Nicks BBQ. The whole hog sandwich from Ed Mitchell was off the chain,too with the vinegary based mix of the finely chopped whole hog, but I preferred the roughly chopped whole hog from Martin’s BBQ joint & the sweet/tart blend of the BBQ sauce slightly lathered upon the stringily-coursely chopped meat! The sweet pickles that accompanied the whole hog ‘sammy were very delightful,too! The 2nd delight that I really savored were the homemade smoked sausage from Jim N Nick’s BBQ. I thought the sausage had a nice & mild smoke flavor that wasn’t too overpowering while the casing had a nice snap when your teeth broke the bond! The accompaniment with the smoked sausage,the pimento cheese spread was a nice element of surprise as well. The cheese were finely diced & the jalapeno added a hint of smoke & heat that was just right! I gently massaged the smoked sausage with the jalapeno-pimento cheese spread instead of smearing it on the saltine crackers that they provided & ooh,boy that combo was like a 1st round lottery draft pick! The snap,crackle,pop of the casing with the smoke flavor of the sausage & the texture of the pimento cheese spread were pure ecstacy to my taste buds when my molars layed contact on her! Ed Mitchell’s crew from “The Pit” also won my piggy heart when they gave free samplings of their pork cracklings when politely asked! Some tasty pork rinds I must say! It brought me back to the days of high school to this corner store called “The Caribbean” when pork rinds & a snapple were a snack called to order before practice! Ed Mitchell’s,’The PIT’ was so popular that they ran out of hog sandwiches around 1:45pm on Saturday! I hope to try out more vendors next year & continue to go to the ones that really pleased my senses this year!
–Mr. C
Whole Hog sandwich from Martin's BBQ!

Whole Hog sandwich from Martin's BBQ!

Pitmaster, Patrick Martin manning his BBQ & staff!

Pitmaster, Patrick Martin manning his BBQ & staff!

Mike Mills, pitmaster from 17th st bar & grill!

Mike Mills, pitmaster from 17th st bar & grill!

Baby back ribs & beans from 17th St bar & grill

Baby back ribs & beans from 17th St bar & grill

Ed Mitchell, pitmaster from The Pit

Ed Mitchell, pitmaster from The Pit

Ed Mitchell checking his babies on the pit!

Ed Mitchell checking his babies on the pit!

Whole hog sandwich from the Pit!

Whole hog sandwich & slaw from the Pit!

OG from the PIT serving up some pork cracklings!

OG from the PIT serving up some pork cracklings!


Norah Jones, pic by MR. C
Norah Jones, pic by MR. C
Norah Jones, pic by MR. C
Norah Jones, pic by MR. C of

Norah Jones blessed the 2010 season of Celebrate Brooklyn at Prospect Park by kicking off the free concert series on June 9th,2010! It was a gloomy,dreary,rainy,& depressing day, but once Norah surfaced on the stage, her vocals & soulful fingers on the keyboard made me drift away to another planet! A dry & sunny Planet Chocko, perhaps! She was accompanied once again with the multi-talented Sasha, who provided the backup vocals,guitars,percussions, & banjo playing. Marty Markowitz, the Brooklyn Borough President made his improptu speech to welcome Norah Jones & to celebrate Brooklyn! Not for nothing, but I don’t even live in Brooklyn & I know the name & face of the Brooklyn Borough Prez! I barely even remember the name of the Mayor in my own town. What’s wrong with this picture?!

Yes, I was semi prepared(not really) for the rains that accompanied Norah & her audience at the Bandshell in Prospect Park, but I got demolished by the rains,anyway. I was wearing 100% all american cotton which is not a good idea, unless you want to act as a human sponge! I brought a petite umbrella that folds up in 30 places which is ‘hella’ portable which is why I got ‘hella’ drenched! I also brought a heavy duty black garbage bag to cover the wet chair so my brain wouldn’t get fried! Donning the garbage bag over my body like a ghost would of been a better idea! Probably a stupid risk, but I whipped out the camera for some still shots & a few vids so the beast got a fair share of raindrops & a few teardrops from myself as well! Norah Jones scintillated the Brooklyn & New Jersey audience that night with a tuneful harassment of her cool breeze,deep,& honey infused vocals! Norah’s set list included Stuck,Creepin in,Sunrise,Come Away with Me,Don’t Know Why,Dauphin Island,cover from Neil Young’s-Barstool Blues,Back to Manhattan, & Chasing Pirates. NJ’s rendition of “Dauphin Island” by Mobile-Alabama’s own, So Brown was inspirational. “Dauphin Island” in Alabama was a tribute to the beauty of the Island before the Gulf of Mexico oil spill that washed up on the beaches. Norah Jones’ peformance was worth being marinated in the rain for 2 hours! Plus, my camera showed no ill effects as of yet! Knock on wood *As I knock on my head* Maybe, we can see more of Norah Jones in Brooklyn since she just became a resident in this wonderful borough once again in the Cobble Hill section, I believe! Sunrise..Sunrise…Norah!
–Mr. C

Greenpoint, BK

-photo by chocko

Joey Ramone Birthday Bash 2010

There was never a dull moment at this year’s Birthday Bash at Irving Plaza in NYC which honored the late, great Joey Ramone. Bands such as Heap and Spanking Charlene played all night and in between sets the audience was treated to rare video and concert footage on a huge screen. The Independents played with intensity, blending punk rock and ska music. Joey was once their manager and back in the day would join them on stage for some Ramones tunes. Those were some good times and it was great to see Evil and Willy B. back on a New York stage. The Sic F*cks, one of the original NY punk/glam bands, played a memorable set. Check out the video below for their performance of “take drugs.” They were joined on stage by Dennis Dunaway (original member of Alice Cooper band) on the bass.
Another local band, Morningwood also rocked out and lead singer, Chantal is nothing short of a thrill to watch. She worked the stage like a female Iggy Pop jumping into the audience, climbing amps and railings up to the balcony. Next up, HR of the Bad Brains who performed a couple mellow reggae numbers. He sounded great, better than expected. Don’t let the bath towel on his head or what appeared to be a bullet proof vest under his suit fool you. He may look a little off, but he can still perform when he’s focused. I wish he played some Bad Brains songs but that might have to wait until the original lineup plays the Afro Punk Festival later in the summer.
Jesse Malin and the St. Marks Social played a loud set from their new album “Love It To Life” and you should go get it. Check out “Burning the Bower”…awesome tune. I remember seeing Joey Ramone and Dee Dee Ramone play at the Continental by St. Mark’s Place (once a cool club to check out bands, now a bar with no live music) and bumping into Jesse jumping around and singing along in the pit. Cool dude.
Friends of Joey Ramone rounded out the evening playing a bunch of Ramones tunes. Richie Ramone and Cheetah Chrome of the Dead Boys played. Walter Lure of the Heartbreakers did a fun cover of “Chinese Rocks” and George Tabb of Furious George sang “Wart Hog.” Punk Rock! A tipsy Mickey Leigh played a lot of Joey’s solo stuff and announced that a new Joey Ramone solo album was in the works.
The lead singer of one of the greatest bands ever would have been 59 years old this year. He’s not around around anymore, but his music and legacy will live on forever.